Jingle All The Way

Ho ho ho Ho ho ho Merry Christmas everyone!!!!! Merry Christmas!!!!
Thought this would be a better starting on this special day.The cold breez and the smiling faces made it hard for me to feel gloomy and find any fault to grumble about office ;) . Christmas has always being the season to be light hearted, free, cheerful what's more feel on top of the world. :) Well gradually the spirit is moving away year by year, it had being ages since I decorated the christmas tree and waited for Santa. Yep, I believed in Santa till I started preschool coz my Christmas presents were waiting for me in the Christmas morning. So bad mom, u guys were fooling me :(. Today no christmas presents, no christmas tree, got only today to celebrate and stuck in office where as I had a whole month to celebrate till this time.Oh am I grown up now???? :( .And I should note here all the fun times I had with Nadeesha, my best friend. Miss u girl. Hope u still remember all the super crazy stuff we used to do in December vacation as I do. Oh and the best thing was watching Christmas movies ;) . There were soooo many nice Santa movies like I'm home for christmas,Jingle all the way, oh and soo many movies where christmas wishes come true in Art TV home movies, TNL, even ITN and Rupavahini and lastly ETV.Hmmm hope they'll telecast at least one nice movie today ;). Ah so many Happy Memories at the Christmas parties too and not to mention the delicious yummy christmas cakes ;).Things are a bit boring but all those memories bring a smile to my face and yes it is hard to feel gloomy and I wanna say loudly I'm sooooo happy and wish a merry christmas too.Jingle all the way guys ;)

Random feelings

Well I was actually planning to write my Interior Monologue part 2 but during my free time at office which is almost all the time there as I'm blessed with some misfortune to be sitting jobless I was reading stuff on the internet. Well that would range from technical stuff to paranormal ;). There were some facts which thoroughly drew my attention,mmm would be more appropriate if I say which made me sad and think twice.In many stories and poems people were lamenting over what they let go. Well in my case it was only a placement of one year which is the most important thing for me in this year but these people have let go of their preacious love.And then alas lamenting over it, thinking of the past and wishing they can go back in time.But what surprises me is had the circumstances been that much worse that they had to take a decision and let go of love.It just surprises me can you really let go of your love if it means so much as to lament over ages.I'm not reffering instances where u let go of him or her for that person's good or if there are distances between you. But there were incidents people did that for no reason maybe coz they didn't understand how much they loved the other till they lost that person.I wonder how this feeling consisting of four words brings so much happiness and so much sufferings to one's life.Yet I feel it should be something withing you and pure and it should not always end up achieving the person,but here I'm not saying that you should let go either but if you can't have your love by some means people should be happy by seeing the other's happiness, well like a silent love.I think that'll be a cure to the lamenting,frustration, sufferings and so on........ But most importantly hold on to your love when you've got it coz once broken, the heart is the least possible thing to replace and more than that I can't bear to read any more blogs posts and stories and poems of people's sufferings coz they let go of love which I believe to come once in a life.Believe in your love and god will lead you to him or her.Oh I guess that was tooo much from me. okmanymanyapolagiesifIwasted ur time. Just hold on o what your heart say and not what the world expects from you.Do every possible thing to hold on to your love and still if you loose you can comfort your weepingheart sayin tht you did your best to stop him or her. ;)Good Luck everyone.

Intel's Core i7

Intel is now introducing the sucessor to the Core 2 processor named Core i7 which has both improved performance and higher efficiency.Since Intel is re-introducing Hyper-Threading to its desktop CPUs in the Core i7 line, the new processors show a marked performance boost in many modern multi-threaded applications. Simultaneously switching to Socket 1366, the X58 chipset, and a tri-channel DDR3 interface, Intel is once again launching both a new generation of processors and an entirely new platform complete with a corresponding leap in performance. The last time we saw a performance improvement of this magnitude was when Intel moved from the Pentium 4/D line to the Core 2 architecture.However, the new Socket 1366 also comes with one disadvantage: the spacing between the mounting holes for the coolers has increased, meaning you’ll need a larger cooler and a new mounting clip or retention module when you make the switch. As a result, no Core 2 CPU is compatible with any Core i7 boards and vice versa. On the plus side, a cooler is included with the boxed version of the processors. On the other hand The new integrated memmory controller offers much higher throughput and is even superior to AMD’s solution on the desktop. The Core i7 is going to leave Intel’s rival AMD lagging even further behind.Have fun with core i7 everyone :)

Old is Gold

Couple of days back I realised that it's being a while since I last wrote a blog post.Well I was not exactly busy.But my thoughts were too confusing and I had to distinguish them before turning them into a blog post.Well seriously I'm not too sure what exactly to write either I have no thoughts or I have too many complicated feelings.But I'm sure of one thing that is I'm missing the life I used to have before starting placement.Yeah it's true that I really wanted a change in my life but this is not the change I was seeking.I truly miss going to IIT,getting late for lectures and running up to 5LA coz I never take the lift,sleeping during the lectures ;) ,taking notes, doing course works well this includes all that I used to hate well not hate but these were things that I didn't enjoy at that time.But I truly I miss those days coz at that time I at least had an urge to get up in the morning and get dressed. There was always something new that had to encounter.And I seriously miss travelling from Kaluatara too.I miss passing all the bridges,looking at the beach and the mornng sun and praying that the AC bus wan't meet wwith an accident.he he. But life is a disaster now.I mean there's nothing for me to look forward to next day.Everyday is just another plain dull day except weekend when I go home.And work is the most boring place I've ever been.Well I must admit the people are the most boring I have ever seen (no offence coz maybe there's something wrong with me too).And I hate travelling daily by the over crowded 138 :( .Well currently I feel myself has become a disaster coz I have been there for more than one month and I haven't been trained on anything new except the report generation and java persistence wich were done by a collegue who was kind enough to spend his time on us.But other than that from the company side there has being no real training session or anything of the sort.So I only gaze at a dumb screen or spend time chatting.So I have nothing to say other than office sucks.Well they gave me to write a user manual but hellooo I want to learn something new and I can alraedy write in English, and I am thouroughly disappointed that one month and two weeks of my time is wasted in this place and there's no improvement in my coding skills which I always wanted to improve.Well do u still think that I'm moaning about life not enjoying as it is? Well maybe I am n I'm not gonna defend myself coz I just wrote down what I feel and hey it's my blog so I can write my own mind ;) .Well now I am looking forward to going back to IIT and see all the old faces and get myself in the old lifestyle. I want my life back n I want to smile again, a genuine smile.

Interior Monologue

Last few days a lot went through my life. The bewilderment that invaded my life made me loose the power of thinking.And I wanted to think back from my past to today upto the point of resigning. :) Since my childhood I was always appreciated by parents and teachers for my ability to work appropriately in any cirumstance.But then, how could thngs change like this? how could I loose my capability of thinking.Am I not happy? Am I stressed? Am I doing what I wanna do? Is it my immaturity? Or is it my shallowmindedness that made me resign?Well so many questions arose in my mind and inevitably my mind raced back to the school days. Yes, I was more happy n contented n well I was doing everything that I had a passion for. So what went wrong after high school. Can't say I choose a wrong path either coz I always had a passion for computer science infact started learning comuting in grade 4 n was forced to learn Pascal which sounded greek to me at first but then found very interesting. Ok, so I'm in the correct path but yet what is missing then hmmm still no answer but I remember the literature class which I only went coz mom wanted me to. It was the most boring place for me on earth for a long time. But I couldn't let go.I had to hold on coz mom wanted me to.N I did.Finally it became such a lovely place n I ended up being the first student to go to the class to find a first raw seat. lol So why did I let go? why couldn't I hold on? I guess this is the evernessence of life.How strange life is,how fickle! How littele is needed to ruin or save!. This is my interior monologue. This is what my heart say. However miserable we r at a certain place it could become the best place with time. We hv the chance to turn back but the one who holds on wins the race in this long run in life just like Frodo Bagins who held on to the fact that there was some good remaining in this world which was worth fighing for.Ability to stay impertubable under any circumstance opens the gateway to reach the destination one day through whatever obstacle that come in your way.

Is it what u think it is?Find out before it's too late

Sometimes we act without thinkin n sometimes we think but do not perform the right action.What happened to me last week was similar to the second acion, coz I thought but didn't act wisely and ended up in a mess.Scrutinizing the last week's happenings now I understand what really happened n whwre I went wrong.The problem was I couldn't understand my real problem which was something not related to my job or residence.I was alarmed by some other factor which I should not have even considered important and it made me really stressed as well.
So I assumed that I was stressed by travelling n gave up the job coz I thought I was stressed by the work and the travelling which actually was not the fact that was actually bothering me.
But what happened is over n how much I think about it thing can never change.N I still can't believe I gave up everything for a reason which I should not have considered important.
I think the most important thing for success is understanding who u are n what makes u really happy n where u really wanna be. Most of all when u are streesed it is very important to understand your our real pproblems n which we can't do because we can't think clearly ultimately perform the rational action.
When u feel something is bothering u and need to get away from the feeling it is very important to take a break n it should be u who understand your problems n not your relations and friends. N even though my family and some friends tried to put m in the correct path I could not listen t them coz my stuberness was preventing me from thinkin that I'm wrong.Finally I wanna say live with a clear perspective n understand who u are n your problems before it's TOO LATE.

PS:It's not just one fact.Mixure of very intriguing feelings which made act like a maniac.

Today while readin the news paper I came across a very interestin article, the tale behind the beautiful toy, Barbie Doll or her full name goes as Barbie Millicent Roberts was invented in 1959 by Ruth Handler whose own daughter was called Barbara.Barbie was introduced to the world in an American toy fair in New York city n was intended to be a fashion doll.The Ken,Barbie's boyfriend was named after Ruth's son.Barbie has almost 80 proessions,everrythin from a rock star to a presidential candidate.Some of the other professions r the military series of Barbie dolls army, Air Force,Navy and Marine corps a medical sergent enlisted in desert storm and a Barbie who goes to college as well.

The Barbie Doll has invaded the hearts of people of all age that there r so many movies buils on Barbie.One to mention is the movie, Barbie which is a story about a Barbie Doll comin alive by a spell.My gratitude goes to Art tv for telecastin such an amazin n touchin movie.Well talkin about toys I had a lot of toys includin Barbies whom I used to operate when I played doc's role with my granpa.Most of my dolls were operated or experimented by me coz I tried to break them into parts n rebuild them.Most of the time it ended in failure n I used to prefer buildin blocks, coz I could build anythin as high as I want n smash them n rebuild them.But when I came to grade 4 my favourite was the telescope n I used to watch the sky n identify stars.But the most memorable one is the Lumala which was promised for becomin class first in grade 3 n which was bouht after my scol exam was over coz mom thought it would distract my studies but still love rememberin how I practiced it fallin,gettin up,ridin,n again fallin without going two meters. lol lol ok I guess this turned out to be kind of borin.So HAPPY TOYS DAY EVERYONE.

Immotionaly Disturbed

Last few days there occurred 4 bomb explotions within the past two weeks.The first eexplotion which occurred in the Dehiwala Railway station thoroghly disturbed by feelings.It was around 5'o clock in the evening when mom called home n said their has been a bomb blast in the Colombo-Panadura train n she'sn the next train which was stopped somewhere around Wellawatte at the time.
"Oh No Not again" was my aunty's respond, looking at her horrified face I realized something really bad has happened.Hearing what has happened took me to 12 years back, the year mamma n my uncle died in the bomb blast which occurred in the same railway station.It was a rather unexpected event actually never expected and the event which brought major divastation upon the family.Mamma was my mom's one n only younger sister n as they didn't hv children I was treated as her own child.I still remember the night my uncle came to pur home n said that there has been a bomb blast in the Colombo-Kalutara train n wanted to check on my mom.I was just a grade 4 student n only thing which came into my mind was to switch on the tv n listen to news, I didn't hv a major idea but I felt some feeling of fright rising upon me.Then to my ralaxation mom came home, the rest of tthe events are not clear in my mind but I remember mom going to "Maha Gedara" where mamma n bindu(lokuammi) lived.
With the dawn mom came home n said that I can't go to school tomo, this made me surprised coz mamma has met my mom in the office n given some clay which I needed to take to school for some pracicle session n I was rather excited about that.But though I was just 9 years old the tone of mom's voice made me feel that there is something wrong.And I asked "Mom, Wht has happened?".I was horrified and startled by hearing the unexpected news that mamma's ID card has been found by one of her friend's n one explotion has been it the same apartment that mamma n uncle was in n mom cried making me cry too.She advised me not to tell this to my grandma yet n they went back.Though I was just 9 I starred feeling some darkness surrounding me, loneliness, fright n in exact words feeling of what death exactly is.What I say might not be clear coz I myself can't exactly describe my feelings but I think it's the "fear of loosing someone u love".I layed on bed recollecting the lovely memories of mamma n uncle n praying tht they will be safe.
I couldn't keep quiet when it became 6, 6.30 in the morning n I told grandma what mom said about finding mamma's ID card.OMG! Still I wish I never said that to her, she started weeping n I was scared she will get heart attack by the look on her face n I called my uncle next door who came to settle her.But before long lokumammi came with the news that I feared to hear.
I cried n wept n wished that what I heard was not true n all these happenings never happened n I was in a really horrifying nightmare.
But it was the truth,granma n grandpa lost their youngest n beloved daughter,mom, lokuammi n my uncles lost their youngest sister n I lost what can I say I really felt I lost my whole world.Mamma n Lal uncle whom I loved more than all my uncles n who was totally into having fun played a major part n my life actually they are the people who brought me to Kalutara coz they were worried sending me to a school in Colombo becoz of the sitauation in the country.They feared for mom n my lives n tried their best to make us safe but god was so unfair to take their lives.
We lost them but in the same time the affect it caused lasted years.We didn't celebrate new year for five years n it was the same in Lal uncles' family.God took them n it was over for them but it's the people who live that suffer.I can remember having mamma n uncle with me at home in my sweet dreams n feeling disappointed when I gey up.It' a feeling more than disappointment which I have no word to explain.
I know for sure that it's the same with all the families who lost their relatives in these blasts n noone other than who has gone through such an incident can really understand their hearts , it's a feeling that no dictionaray in the world has words to explain.It took me some courage to write this down coz I have never talked about this with anyone.I still keep certain things safe with me such as mamma's lip gloss,hair clips n uncle's last body cream n most of all their memories which lasts till my death.Miss u mamma.. miss u loads.

Down the Memory lane

Yesterday I got a cool link from a friend (www.surfthechannel.com) which had most of the cool tv shows n movies.Very surprisingly I found the first movie I got to wtch at British Coucil Young Learners "The Princess Bride".It took me down the memory lane to 8 years back.I was sooooo scared at the thought of going to British Council but mom really wanted to send me there coz she wasn't satisfied with Wendy Whatmore n IWMS.

The first day I was feeling terrible coz I'm no good when it comes to making new friends easily n I thought the people will be different n felt I'm gonna be alone there.But to my luck I found an older girl from St:Bridgets' Convent whose name I don't remember n was a bit relieved.Our teacher was called Jackie; " a superb lady" I wul call her without hesitation.First she made us get into a circle n talk about ourselves.To my utmost horror I felt my mouth drying n felt shivering coz I felt I have forgotten everythin about myself.The speeches were going on and it came to a guy who looked totally cool n crazy n all.To me n my friends' utmost surprise he started with his name n stuff then came to "My favorite" part which is an unforgettable part in a kids' speech n he said his favourite author is "Oscar Wilde"n favourite book is "Happy Prince" which were one of my favourites but tht guy was older than me n how can a fairy tale possibly be a favourite book of a grade 9 guy?Even Jackie showed that she was surprised well no wonder for us to feel like that with the appearance of the person.But I was relieved hearing that coz I felt those ppl were not at all bad n not very different from me n I was never afraid to go there no matter how many speeches I had to give n it became like my second home.One thing I realized was how much we grow up our the exposure we had in our childhood plays a major part in our day to day life determining how we respond to paricilar events n our perspective towards life.

Well talking about Princess Bride we had to watch part of it daily n the days' activities were based on that.It had love,magic,horror,fights,crime n everything n I really enjoyed it in 2000 but I'm sure I can enjoy it like the same way I enjoyed it 8 years back coz there are so many memories attached to it.We played games, acted like pirates,had group work n contests n OMG it was soo fun.Wish I can go back 8 years n go to Jackie's class.Miss u British Council n miss u Jackie n all my friends there!

Aftermath of my exams

The exams are over n no more exams for one year coz industrial placement is gonna start in July.It's pretty exciting coz this is the first time I'm gonna work n it's new environment n new n strange people.But unfortunately actually very unfortunately my mom has got some exams and I had to give up my plans to go on a trip to Nuwara Eliya n Badulla.Well I actually guessed something like this would happen coz it's totally normal in my family.The wonder would be if we could go on a trip as we planned ;).
I was totally bored after the exams and feeling down coz the cancellation of the trip.Then CCNA came for my aid.I bought the book one year ago n was planning to finish the exam but BCS n IIT work kept me really busy so I thought why not give it a try n finish it within two months.Ha ha I remember wht I wrote in my first blog post "No more exams for one year n Live my life to the fullest".But becoming a CCNA within two months is not bad actually it's one of the most difficult targets I ever set for myself.

Let the music heal your soul
Let the music take control

It's true guys.Music has so much power on us.

And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep

Robert Frost

Nobody

I'm nobody
Who are you
R u nobody too
Then there's a pair of us
Don't tell them
They'd banish us u know

How dreary to be somebody
How public like a frog
To tell your name
The livelong june
To an admiring bog

Emily Dickinson

Exams again

Well I've got exams again.This time the final exam of the second year.Well wonder why I started blogging when I should be studying now.So unusual of me ;)Mmmm this time also I've given my usual promises to myself.Well I'm gonna go on a trip to Nuwara Eliya and go on pony rides,visit Haggala,Ambewela and then go to Badulla to visit my cousins, have midnight parties with them so on and on.But as usually this time also I'm gonna get stuck with some exam and that'll be the end of my long vacation.Well that's ok I know I'm born to do exams.Either they find me or I find an exam.But as I've finished BCS and no exams at IIT for another year I have little hope that I'll be able to escape from exams.Well God knows.Maybe I'll end up starting CIMA................... .Nooooooooooo no way huh.I'm gonna enjoy n have the time of my life.LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.